Hmm.. where to start. I guess my current status will do. I’m 25 years old living in my own house renting out a room to my good mate (and drummer from my band). Still single. Semi looking. By that I mean i’m not walking around with my eyes closed. I meet new girls all the time but lately i’ve been comparing them with the girl I have most affection for which kind of writes pretty much all girls out. I shouldn’t put them on pedestals I know but it’s hard to do when you were always told to never accept second best, and never put up with second class behaviours.
I still feel as though I’m growing. Always growing older and wiser with every day. For the first time this weekend I woke up thinking about all my previous interactions. I honestly sat up wondering if I was the only sane person alive. Am I the last of a dying breed? I wonder why people do certain things, how how can they do X and think that it’s a positive or morally right thing to do. Without putting myself on a pedestal I had a quick recap of my current situation, and decided to give myself some direction by writing a note on my bedroom wall whiteboard. It basically said every time I sit and play I waste valuable time. Time I should spend; sorting my self out, sorting out my house, getting my driving licence, getting a better paid designer job anywhere and finally getin paid’ (which is my way of saying cash in for the hard work and relax for what time I get).
To be fair I believe these thoughts came from when my house mate went on a stag do and I was left for 3 days with the cat. These furry creatures need feeding and that apparently and so I had agreed to sort it out. Well I sat down and played a 4hr online poker tournament and at midnight just before bed I headed up the stairs to be confronted by a hungry cat… whoops. It was a moment that reminded me that when I play or waste time I forget the things I should be doing. Although feeding the cat doesn’t sit very high in my grand life missions list it’s a good representation of how to waste time. Think of it this way.. instead of spending 4hrs on online poker earning a few quid. Why not sell myself or make my new CV to send out to many new companies down south to earn myself even more cash on a monthly basis?
I am my own disaster.
I went through a period of thinking that I needed a girlfriend to live with me and kick me out of bed to get me to work harder. Nowadays I realise that I just need to sort myself out. I don’t know what prize I get for trying to be the best I can be, but it makes for a good hobby. For now my personal ass kicker can be the whiteboard.
i apologise for my pointless rant… what a waste of my time 